just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
