Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
