i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
