that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
