I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
