i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
