your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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