Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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