no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
