I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize