then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
