i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
