when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
