:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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