i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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