i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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