i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
only if we run a train.
done.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
