Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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