idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You pole danced in your parka.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
