i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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