Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
