Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
