Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize