Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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