Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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