just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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