And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He? As in you personified your dick?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
