Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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