The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How naked do you want me to be?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
