you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
