let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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