I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
