she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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