You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
