whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
