Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
