Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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