How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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