We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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