just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
