im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
