I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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