how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Found the puke drawer
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
