Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
