You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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