Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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