maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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