he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
