My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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