In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
