Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
