I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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