Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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