You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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