I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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