Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
