How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
