Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
