Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
