There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
