i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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