So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
