My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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