sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
