she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
