Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
