What a fucking waste of an outfit
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
